Recovery Journey Part 13 - Angry at Neurologist

I am angry today and my anger is focused on the primary medical care I have received.  With all the experience I have had with medical practitioners I should not be surprised but then it happens again and it just makes me mad.  I get it, they study specific areas of the body but can they really be that blinkered to believe when the specific area they are looking at is fixed everything is ok - it seems so.  When did medicine forget that the body is an interconnected system and that when treating a condition or injury the whole body and the person needs to be treated and not just the specific bone that has broken.

Reflecting on the journey over the last few days I am angry and frustrated with the way I was treated by my neurologist and the simplistic and narrow minded approach to my health. 

After being released from hospital in Canada I travelled the 9 hours home on the condition that I go straight to ER for an MRI.    This part of the treatment went smoothly and is standard procedure.  MRI completed I was referred to a neurologist for treatment.  The great thing with insurance is the speed at which you can been seen.  The next day I saw the neurologist and the exam took no more that 30 minutes.  I was told I had ligamentitis and that I would need to wear a neck collar for 6 weeks after which I would be assessed for surgery, that was it, see ya, and come back is six weeks.   Sarah and I came away scared that if I even moved my neck my head could fall off and I would need immediate surgery, and that is how we played it for the next 6.5 weeks.

Now reflecting back that six weeks helped but also set me up for a bunch of other problems not least of all the feeling of helplessness as I waited for the time to tick by hoping that I would not need surgery. 

Looking back on that visit I can't help feeling like a piece of meat and hearing the ca-ching of the cash register and the sound of the check box being ticked as I walked out of the office.  There was no thought to my well being over the coming six weeks.  No mention of the challenges I would face or how I might face them and no support system.   Oh I know what your thinking, I could call them right and they would help out.  Well I did when a week into the collar I experienced a major flare up of TMJ in my jaw.  There answer was muscle relaxants that had little effect, no follow up to see if I was ok and no suggestion of who might help.  I guess I could have been more forceful but I got the message loud and clear everything else was not in there wheelhouse.  I visited my primary care doctor who looked at me then asked me "what do you want me to do for you?".  Now that was a statement I was not expecting since I went to her for advice.  I then took matters into my own hands and had both my ear and teeth checked.  I had my ear looked at to rule out an infection and then I had an adjustment to my bite which helped but did not cure the problem.  Even my Short Term Disability notification was not covered by the neurologist's office.  They told me that they would take over if I needed surgery and until then to work with my primary care doctor.

Fast forward 6.5 weeks, why 6.5 weeks and not 6 weeks, because they had no appointments available.  Sarah and I arrive at hospital nervous with anticipation and the hope that surgery will be avoided and the collar removed.  We were called into the office and the first thing the nurse said to us was "how can I help you today".  I know they see lots of people but isn't that why there are files that can be read before seeing a patient who has spent six weeks in a collar.  Next a doctor we have never seen before comes in and asks the same question and then proceeds to ask all about my health.  When Sarah asked why we were seeing him, he said "you will see both of us today, two for the price of one".  I still have no idea what that meant but it was no value to me.  He did the standard rubbing around for sensation and when I told him about my TMJ and having my bite adjusted he looked at me as though I was making up a story.  He then left and in came my neurologist.  He asked how I was doing and after I had finished he said "so you want me to tell you if you can take that off",  I said "yes", he said "you can".  He went on to explain that my fracture had healed and in a completely nonchalant way told me that I was all better and should come off of all my pain medication and resume work and life as normal.   Talk about surprised at the completely different manner compared to six weeks ago when he all but scared the living daylights out of us.  In our surprise we stumbled over our thoughts and questions.  Sarah asked if I could ride my bike, he said "Yes".  Sarah asked if I should use a trainer or could ride on the road.  He told us that I could ride on the road but did not advise going on a 10 mile ride straight away.  We discussed a return to work day of the following Monday and again he told me I was fine, that arguing in the office would help with the healing and his closing statement was "You will get better".

After leaving the office we looked at each other in puzzlement and compared notes at which point we discovered that neither of us really knew what had happened to my neck.  There was lots of talk but the words had slipped through our fingers like melted butter and we were left feeling unfulfilled by the visit.  Still the focus for me was the collar coming off and at that point it was the most exciting thing having suffered from TMJ and lack of sleep the whole time.  Sarah however was scared that I had come out of the collar to soon.  It was not until our first Physical Therapy session that we started to put pieces together and we have come to understand that the collar was on my neck to allow my fractured vertebra to heal and to allow the torn ligaments to heal and scare over at the same time.  Once the fracture had healed as far as the neurologist was concerned I was better - Job Done, Next Patient.

That brings me to today 5 days after seeing the neurologist and 5 days out of the collar, oh and the day before my initial return to work date.  So am I all better?  I would love to say yes and have life return to normal.  I am looking forward to returning to work and returning to riding but the last 5 days have been a challenge and a challenge I was not prepared for or warned about which again makes me angry at the treatment I received.

At my first Physical Therapy session my therapist told me I was being optimistic about my return to work date.  She told me that after wearing the collar for six weeks I might experience greater pain 2 or 3 days after the collar is removed as the deep tissue muscles start to work again.  We decided that I should take another week to focus on recovery.  From an administration standpoint I reached out to the neurologist's office to provide an extension to my short term disability insurance company.  There response was that I was cleared for work and they could not help me.  If I needed further help to contact my primary care doctor.  Again I was surprised at the level of support, the fracture had healed and there job was done and I was all better in there opinion.  I reached out to my primary care doctor to find out that she had left of a months vacation and that I would have to see the doctor covering her on Monday to assess an extension.  On top of all that is going on I really don't need to be made to feel as though I am trying to avoid returning to a job I love.

From where I am sitting today, I cannot believe the narrow mindedness and lack of thought or care I received from the neurologist.  The instruction to come off all pain medication after 6.5 weeks left me suffering until I could get the pain under control again resulting in lost sleep which delays healing, and the assertion that I could return to normal life was pure fantasy, don't get me wrong I wish it had been true.

The journey and experience is why I believe in an holistic approach and it frustrates me that I have to go through it but I have both experience and an amazing wife to support me.  Over time I have also built an understanding of my body and what it takes to recover and last week I set up sessions with my secondary care providers to help me through the journey.  My thoughts and frustration are for everyone who go's through the system and receives the same treatment but do not have the support I have.

Insurance aside I have decided to take next week to recover before returning to work as I am still working through a number of challenges.  I am in almost constant pain which is both wearing and tiring, my upper back muscles are not firing correctly and I have very limited head movement, my neck muscles are tight and painful.  The TMJ in my left jaw is active and my teeth on the left side have become painfully sensitive to both heat and cold making eating a challenge.   Other than that I am the picture of health and vitality.

To recover I am focused on daily exercises for my neck and back.  I have appointments set up with my Physical Therapist, Acupuncturist and Chiropractor next week as well as an emergency appointment with my Dentist to evaluate the TMJ.  It is going to be a long day on Monday what with a doctors appointment, acupuncture, adjustment and dentist - wish me luck.

As I write this I want you to know that "Positive Thinking" is critical to recovery and to put behind you anything that can get in the way of it.  To look for and acknowledge the little improvements no matter how small.