Man I am tired of this headache, it has fluctuated from severe to low grade for the last 8 weeks and today it is a low grade constant throb, you know the type, the type you just want to bang your head against a wall until it stops. No I am not complaining, well maybe a bit, can you blame me.
It is interesting to me how you can see so many people and still the recovery process is like your own personal detective journey where you are the main character with the goal of figuring out what the hell is going on. Wouldn't it be great if you could go to one person who would explain in simple terms all the things that are happening, how they are connected to each other and what you have to do to help your body recover. What a revolutionary thought. Between everyone I am seeing I thought I had a good bead on the problems but still the TMJ issue and the pain in my jaw and teeth is out there.
Today another little piece of the mystery fell into place with a visit to a masseuse. Working on my back she told me that my muscles responded well but once she started to work on my neck the news was not as good. Interestingly she worked on the opposite side of my neck to everyone else. She told me that my neck muscle was very tight the same side as my TMJ. Her perspective was that the muscle tightness could be pulling on the jaw joint causing the inflammation. Ah ha another clue to the mystery of the TMJ flare up. Anyway after the massage I was warned that tomorrow and Sunday I am going to hurt, oh that is going to a new experience - not. Lots of water and a little ice are in my immediate future.
Sucking it up I did my PT exercises, Foundation Training and rode 10 mins on the trainer but I have to say getting motivated today has been really tough especially after another crappy nights sleep. I could have so easily wallowed in my own self pity today and done nothing. It takes effort some days to be in charge of your own recovery but on the flip side I know the dividends will be paid out for the effort - if not today.
My next challenge is going to be to motivate myself to pick up on projects and prepare for returning to work. I think of it as thinking right as well as moving right.
My closing thoughts return to how lucky I have been. My friend shared an accident that happened in New Zealand where a cyclist fell into a sink hole only 75cm deep resulting in a broken neck and paralysis. Stories like this put things into perspective and give me the strength to be thankful for that throbbing headache and thank the universe I am still here to feel it.
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